The Twitter Files, Vol. 1

Believe it or not, I like Twitter. It's a good medium for my kind of thought process: cut to the snark, skip all the filler. Some people hate being limited to 140 words or less--considering that I am the type who tends to get bogged down in rambling, it forces me to get to the point.

(Additionally, Twitter allows you to post through text message, which is like crack to me. So you'll see a lot of those, whereas you'll usually only get one, maybe two posts on here a week. So it's got that going for it, too.)

Some of you have Twitter, in which case you have no excuse for not following me. There's a link to the right. I'll wait.

(Waiting...)

Ok. Good. But some of you don't. And so, here's a sample of what you're missing out on. Think of this as The Complete First Season--if you watched on TV it's not new, but it's still a fun little recap. And if you don't have cable, it's your chance to catch up. I'll do these occasionally.

-was very sure that David Stern would find some way to rig up at least one Game 7 in the conference finals. Apparently not.1:32 AM May 31st from web
-Shaq to the Cavs, in what might be the best "day late and a dollar short" deal in sports history. Should've done it back in February, guys.12:05 AM Jun 25th from web
-Bigger choke: USA blows 2-0 halftime lead or NYY blows 3-0 series lead?3:36 PM Jun 28th from txt (Context note: this was after the USA-Brazil soccer match this summer, in which the Americans stormed out to a 2-0 lead channelling the 1980 hockey team, and proceeded to surrender 3 second-half goals to lose. Painful even now to reminisce about.)
-just saw someone wearing a trash bag... I LOVE the chicago ghetto6:55 AM Aug 9th from txt
-Doesn't this commercial pretty much explain the entire Steroids Era? http://bit.ly/15jGS6 5:19 PM Aug 28th from web
-#fucktilatequila. Lying bitch. Attention whore. Go die in a fire.12:19 AM Sep 11th from txt
-Jake Delhomme's career is so done if you look close enough you can see a fork sticking out his back1:44 PM Sep 13th from txt
-Congrats on your new franchise QB, Bears fans! Once he figures out which jerseys he's supposed to be throwing to, you're set!11:30 PM Sep 13th from web
-Quote of the Week: "Michael Vick remains ineligible, so Kevin Kolb would Plan B. Because there are no remaining Detmers."--Andy Behrens9:26 AM Sep 14th from web
-My professor just used the word "Christmahannukwanzaka." On the "Signs it's gonna be a long semester" list, that has to rank in the top 10.1:37 PM Sep 17th from web (Side note: I dropped that class last week. In hindsight, that decision is kind of like Lamar Odom marrying the uglier Kardashian sister, only the complete opposite.)
-That loud crashing sound you heard was the Matt Barkley bandwagon careening into a lightpole.6:02 PM Sep 19th from txt
-Essay question of the week: Which has more holes--a cheesehead hat, GB's punt coverage team, or GB's offensive line? Discuss.3:04 PM Sep 20th from txt
-Sign of the economic times--Neil Patrick Harris hosting the Emmys. I can't believe he was available.3:09 PM Sep 20th from txt
-Two quizzes on a Friday morning. There should be a law against things like this11:22 AM Sep 25th from txt
-Speaking as someone with no love or hate for Michigan, Tate Forcier might be the most clutch QB in recent memory2:28 PM Sep 26th from txt
Dear ESPN: Please stop trying to force your NASCAR coverage down our throats. I do not care about about Denny Hamlin's love for Virgia Tech. Just go away ...4:09 PM Sep 26th from txt