Howdy, friends.
You're probably wondering what happened between June 18 (the World Cup live-blog of USA-Slovenia) and this past Sunday (the NFC Championship). Since nothing visible happened in the world of Somewhere Over Dwayne Bowe, you're curious as to why I stopped writing for 7 months.
Truth is, there's no exciting explanation like you'd think. For a few months I made attempts at a few pieces (most notably several attempts at ripping apart The Decision, as well as an aborted end-of-summer blockbuster titled "2010: The Summer of the Douchebag Athlete"). These all ended one of two ways--I either got a decent start, couldn't figure out where to go, and the piece was left unfinished; or I finished it, re-read it, hated it, and decided not to publish.
If anyone who works in social media is reading this (actually reading it, not clicking it to spam my comments promising a smaller stomach, a bigger dick, or both), you just lost any respect for me. Didn't ya? Because the first rule of online media is to stay constant. Stay relevant. To write a "successful" website, you need to provide a steady stream of new content.
I could blast this theory out of the water easily, but it's already been done, and far better than I ever could.* Suffice to say that this site is nothing like a Gawker, or a Perez Hilton--so I have no intention of following that model. If I'm proud of something I've written enough to share it, I will do so--I'm at least competent enough to do that once in a while, we've seen. If I write something that just isn't up to snuff, or just won't come together, I'm not going to force it on you--it'd be an insult to you, an insult to me, and an insult to the topic being covered. You've already got an entire generation of online narcissists trumpeting in your ear for the sole purpose of hearing their own trumpeting--why should I burden you with another one?
So that's the past. A bad case of writers block, and something had to happen to shake me out of it. Something like a Green Bay Super Bowl. Can you feel it, bitches?
A year ago, I did a Tribute Week for March Madness, cramming an obscene amount of content into one week of posting. I almost feel obligated to do it again. That, and I have some good ideas for Super Bowl Week content that I'd like to get reader feedback on.
(Yep, you're damn right. I just spent 400 words on an enigmatic non-apology for being unable to come up with content, and now I'm going to use a glorified brainstorming session as finished product--AND solicit content ideas from readers. In my defense--I may be lazy, but I just might be so good at it as to turn it into an art form.)
-Super Bowl Preview
Simple. This one has to be done. Odds are, I'll come up with some quirky gimmick to carry me through what is sure to be a larger, and not too positive, piece. I've done the movie quotes before, might do something similar?
-Should the Bears Be Looking to Replace Cutler?
Yeah, I know--not technically Super Bowl-related. But I'm putting this one on here as a buffer choice--if enough non-Packer fans are depressed enough at the thought of an all-Packer week, I'll slip it up to next week. Otherwise, I'll probably run it shortly after. Either way, I'm in need of Bears fans for feedback--objectively, I think the fake trade that the Pointless Hypotheticals Division cooked up is a no-brainer for both sides. But I'm not a Bears fan, and I don't know how they feel about Jay. And without that angle, this piece is at least 50% worse. So I need a few readers to step up. Since you're doing me a favor, I promise to keep the wisecracks to a minimum.
-The Top 10 Super Bowls of my Lifetime
Ehh, I know. Lists. Ugh. But realistically--how else can you do a "best-of" piece? This one might turn out to be "Top 5 that I've actually watched" in final format (since I have no first-hand memory of the Dallas Dynasty save for the heartbreak that happened the last time Green Bay played a playoff game in Dallas). Either way, I feel almost obligated to do some sort of historical countdown.
-Retro Diary: Super Bowl XXXI
I can almost guarantee that this one will come to pass. I've got a copy, it's already been re-watched twice this week, and I can guarantee at least another twice before next Sunday. Would I love to go back and re-live two of the greatest hours of my life with my awesome readers? You bet your ass I would!
-Tale of the Tape: '96 Brett Favre vs. '10 Aaron Rodgers
I'd include '66 Bart Starr, but I never saw him play. Wouldn't be fair. I'll simply placate the old-timers with the following qualifier: Starr is the one who won multiple titles.
(Also worth mentioning while we're on the subject of '96 Favre: watching him in that Super Bowl is an experience. I won't say good or bad, because it's a very mixed bag. On the one hand, I forgot how good he was. On the other hand, how good he was is tainted by how bad he got, and what a prick he turned into. It's like finding a picture of you and your estranged best friend from high school--it brings back a flood of happy memories, followed by the twinge of those memories being tainted as you remember walking in on him balls deep in your girlfriend two years later. Bittersweet like nothing else on this planet.)
-Would Aaron Rodgers still be this good if he didn't free-fall in the draft?
Simple question, and I'd love love love to delve into the psyche of Aaron Rodgers. Not only is he my team's quarterback, he's an objectively fascinating athlete. *Spoiler Alert* I can't remember seeing anyone who wants to win so badly since Michael Jordan.
Also, my brain is not just going to turn off until I start writing again. So this list is hardly final--just a little sneak preview, if you will. If you've got any ideas you'd like to see me tackle, feel free to share. I welcome all reader feedback.
*Seriously, take the ten minutes to read this. PhilaLawyer is one of my major inspirations as a writer, and one of my major hobbies as a reader. He's a prime example of what I'm talking about regarding quality vs. quantity. On average, he posts maybe twice or three times a month. Maybe. But he's got a five-year back catalogue of work, a best-selling book, and all of it is quality. Hopefully that will be me in 2015.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Back With a Vengeance: NFC Championship Live Blog
Here's the thing I've noticed over the past week: a lot of people outside of Wisconsin and Illinois don't get Packers-Bears as a legitimate "great" rivalry--largely due to the fact that they haven't met outside of the regular season since 1941.
Which is what makes today such a huge, huge game. To those outside of the Midwest--these two fan bases loathe each other. Like, loathe. On the level of Red Sox-Yankees only worse because of the little-brother complex most of us up in Wisconsin have towards the city of Chicago. Fuck 'em, it feels good to beat the FIBs.
So this game? Yeah, it's a big deal. It's the biggest game we've played in 15 years, bar none.
A few pregame thoughts...
15:00 Holy shit... Jim Cornelison can sing. Is there any better way to start a Packers-Bears NFC Championship than a heavyset mustachioed man belting out one of the strongest Anthems in TV history? I can't remember the last time I got goosebumps like that. And the crowd sounds ready to go--everyone's drinking away the cold, and things are gonna get loud.
Normally, this would be a bad thing for the visiting team. I love it. Aaron Rodgers is a competitor--he feeds on the adversity of the crowd. They're just gonna inspire him to shut them up. Say what you will about the game--this is a Super Bowl-like atmosphere. Whoever survives will have a leg up next week.
14:56 The field is going to be a problem. Slippery, and lots of shadows. Could be a few drops.
13:53 Aaron Rodgers and Greg Jennings are coming out hard. Two first downs on two plays.
12:38 Aikman: "I think the Bears are gonna need to do something to show Aaron Rodgers that it's not as easy as he made it look the past two weeks." Uh, yeah. Rodgers is carving up Bear steaks on this drive.
11:00 Touchdown, Aaron Rodgers! Shades of Brett Favre's scramble in Super Bowl XXXI. Pretty goal-line roll out off of the play fake. The Bear defense looked helpless on the first drive. Rodgers looks frighteningly good--four for four, averaging 19 yards per attempt. Three 20 yard completions. He's entered the Barry Sanders "Don't Bet Against Me, Ever, For Any Reason" Zone. Like Favre in his prime, except without the forced throws.
10:45 Chad Clifton is hurt, they are calling it a stinger. All of Wisconsin is parying that it's not worse.
8:40 Um, has Dom Capers noticed that the Bears are going to Matt Forte on every play? Just sayin'.
8:00 Third down, Cutler pressured, and he overthrows Devin Hester. Wide open. Charlie Peprah didn't have a prayer at it. I'm grateful for Jay Cutler. Punt out of bounds at the ten--Packers with a chance to start an avalanche.
5:55 TJ Lang is in at left tackle for Clifton, as Brandon Jackson rips a run. I love and hate that about him--he either goes for 10, or hits the line and drops. No in-between.
5:04 Dear Joe Buck: Please do not casually toss out phrases like "Aaron Rodgers looks hurt." It's not funny. Seriously, fuck you.
5:00 Third down, Rodgers dumps it off, and Kuhn drops it. Rodgers is facing increasing pressure from Julius Peppers, who is rocking the shit out of the overmatched Lang. He's not Allen Barbre, but he's only marginally better. We need Clifton in there before the gimp shows up.
4:00 Plays the bears have run in which Forte didn't touch the ball: 1. Warrants mentioning.
3:23 Cullen Jenkins gets to Cutler on third down! Shame he didn't try to force a bad throw there, though. Cutler is what happens when you combine Brett Favre's decision-making skills with Jeff George's attitude. Granted, he blows Kyle Orton out of the water, but still. Just a few years later, I absolutely cannot imagine him coexisting with Brandon Marshall. How the hell did those two not cripple each other?
2:40 Another 20+ yard completion to Greg Jennings. He's a hot knife, and the Bear defense is butter.
:52 Rodgers flushed and sacked on third down. Saw that coming a mile away. No way the Bears let the Packers get too far out front. Another awesome pooch punt by Masthay, downed inside the 5. He's the master of those. I've really come to love his work as of late. At any rate, the Bears are inside the two yard line.
17: Forte barely gets out of the endzone, bringing us to the end of the quarter
Some thoughts:
13:21 Packers driving again. Brandon Jackson just juked Urlacher out of his jockstrap. Heh.
12:17 The Packers are averaging 7.8 yards per offensive play. And that was before Jordy Nelson took it inside the 5.
11:13 How'd you like to get your first NFL touchdown in the NFC Championship?! James Starks, baby!
Hell of an effort on his part. He saw a seam in the defense, bowled into the linebackers, and forced his way to the goal line. 14-0, and the Bears really need some kind of points out of this drive. I'm quite pleased with this start.
10:50 I love Johnny Knox, simply because of his name. So fun to say. Just sounds like he should be a made man. It's like the Reverse JP Losman Effect--the fact that "Johnny Knocks" would make a su-poib mobster nickname actually makes him better. I'm convinced of it.
8:58 Is it just me, or is there something satisfying about watching Jay Cutler get laid out? Every time he slides, I get sad inside. Will never forgive him for the way he handled the Denver situation (like a spoiled trust-fund baby at best). Cutler is a tool. And it's fun to root against guys who qualify as tools.
Packers defense has been very uncharacteristic today. Bend, but don't break. The Bears are averaging 4.6 yards per play, not bad, but the Packer defense is tightening in their own territory.
7:26 Speaking of awesome names... Starks starts off the drive with a 10 yard run, and is brought down by Major Wright. I can't make this stuff up.
6:50 25-yard run by Rodgers. And he could've pushed for more, but he stepped out of bounds a little early. Still, one of my favorite Rodgers wrinkles--he's secretly a superbly effective scrambler. He doesn't break off the 60-yard highlight reel runs that a Mike Vick or Seneca Wallace will, but his footwork in the pocket is on a Breesian level, plus he has good instincts when it comes to taking off and gaining large quantities of turf.
5:20 The crowd noise just forced Rodgers to use a timeout. Can't say the atmosphere rates ANYWHERE below "electric."
4:55 Third and one, Starks stopped short. Is John Kuhn in the crapper or something? Why would you run Starks up the middle there?
4:11 Again, the Bears trying to target Forte. They've lost the element of surprise at this point.
3:53 Cutler gets jacked as he throws, puts it up for grabs, and it's almost picked off by Clay Matthews. Good job by Greg Olson to swat it away, and save the drive. There was a Cutler mistake. Right enough, Forte takes it to the 30 for the first down on a draw.
1:52 Another semi-prolonged Chicago drive, another punt. Comically, the PA system chooses Usher and Lil' Jon's "Yeah!..." as their defense comes onto a fairly short field, trailing by two scores. Hope springs eternal, I guess.
1:38 Another nice Rodgers scramble. He dusted Urlacher to the sideline.
:43 Driver drops a low throw, and Lance Briggs with the interception off the tip. Actually, on the replay, Driver kicked it. Cheap pick. Forte into Packer territory on the first play of the drive. Just like that, the crowd is starting to perk up again. Awesome.
:32 And Sam Shields gets it back! Cutler goes deep, Shields matches Knox stride for stride, and makes a play on it. Great pick by Shields--maybe the best undrafted free agent rookie I can ever remember. That is a monster--we needed to squash them before they could turn momentum into points. We've dominated across the board--but with only two scores to show for it.
As ex-head official Mike Herrera pontificates why he thinks the call will be overturned, it is held up. Rodgers kneels, and it's halftime. Two scores does not do this half justice. Gonna take a shower, and return for the second half.
Third Quarter
12:28 Third down, another 20+ completion from Rodgers. This time to Jordy Nelson. We've even got the same "four-man WR corps, with the Token White Guy" concept that worked back in 1996. Jordy or Don Beebe?
10:06 James Starks reminds me an awful lot of Emmitt Smith. Small back who saw his blockers well, knew how to follow them, and compensated for a lack of flashy jukes, stutter-steps and the like with a low center of gravity that made him almost impossible to bring down. Same mold.
9:40 So for those keeping score at home, our quarterback looks like John Elway or a righty Steve Young, crossed with Brett Favre's swagger and Michael Jordan's mean-streak competitiveness and our running back is cut out of the Emmitt Smith mold. Very good time to be a Packer fan.
8:50 Rodgers with nowhere to go with it, intercepted by Urlacher. Todd Collins is in for Cutler, reportedly it's a knee injury. A Google search for Cutler reveals the following Twitter post: "Jay Cutler is as tough as a feather pillow."
8:44 Cutler looks to show no signs of wanting to return to this game. Todd Collins looks horribly overmatched. And right on cue, Nick Collins (no relation) with a diving interception. On replay, the ball bounced. Hoping Lovie won't challenge this one.
8:20 If my posting slows down, it's technical difficulties. I have an old laptop, and it keeps freezing up. Sorry.
5:53 Rodgers ducks down and gets the legs of a flying defender. I couldn't breathe until he stood up. That would've been brutal.
4:29 Devin Hester slips on the turf, no return on the punt. Another break. It's still a two score game, and I do not trust Hester in the slightest. Todd Collins can't fuck him up.
3:10 Tramon Williams almost walks away with another interception. So many near-picks from Collins. Believe it or not, I actually feel legitimately bad for Bears fans at this point. It's one thing to lose. It's another thing to lose a conference championship game to a hated rival, and have your quarterback completely exposed in the process.
Jay Cutler is a loser. Plain and simple. His solution to a perceived problem in Denver was to whine and bitch, and force his way out. His body language clearly states "I want nothing to do with this game." He's a pussy, who gets frustrated easily and gives up too quickly. It's a cancer to have in a quarterback--and it's also the reason for the Jeff George comparison earlier. Not even George was this bad though.
1:29 Another three and out. I'd feel so much more confident about this game if we had scored more than twice. Fourteen points can be made up in freakish ways.
:57 Just when I can't think of any ways that we can be more stacked, Tim Masthay launches a 61-yard punt over Earl Bennett's head. I didn't know watching a punter could be this fun.
:20 Someone named Caleb Hanie is in for Collins. Lovie Smith is visibly sweaty trying to wrench the fork out of Collins' back on the sideline. He's that done.
Fourth Quarter
14:18 Just as soon as the booth finishes explaining the rules that state that Cutler and Collins are both ineligible to return to the game, Hanie is rocked by AJ Hawk. Don't tempt me, fate.
13:05 Clay Matthews rocks Forte in the backfield. I hope Matthews is aware of the bounty on Hanie's head.
12:27 Hanie to Johnny Knox, down to the one and out of bounds. Fuck.
12:02 Touchdown, Chester Taylor. Soldier Field sounds like it just got electroshocked. Forty-seven minutes of domination, and suddenly Chicago has all the momentum. Hanie even wears Tom Brady's number. This can't happen. Can't.
11:51 Starks stopped at the line, and the crowd actually reacted. Come on, Rodgers. This is where you shine.
11:08 Rodgers is absolutely wrecked by Peppers as he overshoots Jennings. Can't say I'm surprised to see that--just surprised it took this long. Know Peppers has to be headhunting.
11:03 Another flag, this one pass interference downfield on first down. I can't remember the last time I heard this much booing.
10:30 Can someone make me the following image: Cutler moping on the sideline with little bits of blood on his sleeve, and Rodgers spitting blood onto the field after Peppers rung his bell? I feel like this contrast says it all about those two.
9:32 Incomplete, punt team on. Hanie has the crowd behind him. I'm absolutely terrified.
8:29 Three and out, with Sam Shields getting a good shot on Hanie on third down. Glad to see our defense get their swagger back. Hoping that score might have been a fluke.
7:31 Incomplete, Rodgers throws low off the play-action. Hey, the first two games were ugly affairs that came down to the end--why should this one be any different?
6:15 Another third-down situation. INTERCEPTED BY BJ RAJI FOR THE TOUCHDOWN!
BJ Raji is the truck driving us to Dallas. Love the zone blitz. My Facebook toolbar is exploding with Raji-related status updates. Happy fucking day. Happy, happy fucking day. That was getting entirely too tense.
5:27 Charlie Peprah just lit up Earl Bennett. A couple first downs, all of a sudden the Bears are into our territory.
4:43 Bennett with a juke move, and he takes it in for the touchdown. How the fuck did that happen so fast? We went from "Joe Buck joking about Raji's Truffle Shuffle" to "7-point game" in what felt like nothing. I'm hoping that our offense can keep the momentum going from the pick-six.
3:50 Starks stopped cold at the line twice. Big third down coming up.
3:40 Nowhere to go, Rodgers goes down, three and out. Our defense came up big all game until that last drive. One more time, guys.
2:53 Masthay with another huge punt--56 yards--and Hanie on to run the two-minute drill. I have to pee. It'll have to wait.
2:44 High snap, Hanie barely brought it in. Chicago's collective hearts just jumped into their throats there.
2:38 How the fuck did Hanie get away from that rush? Seems like he was surrouned by green jerseys there.
2:33 Flag. Intentional grounding. Huge break. Bears fans are going to be pissed off at the refs for this one, mark my words.
1:54 Forte stopped short of the first down. Interesting trend--Hanie's gone to his checkdown routes almost exclusively this drive. I think he's feeling the pressure, and is a little hesitant to press his luck downfield. Good news for us, since they need a quick score and he's continually going short and over the middle. Shades of Matt Flynn? Great coming-out performance by a plucky backup QB, capped off by crapping the bed in a beat-the-clock situation?
Fourth and one. Here's the season.
1:48 And Chester Taylor gets it. Crap.
1:27 Hanie, screen pass to Forte. Clay Matthews is limping. I feel sick. Ball on the 34.
1:15 Can someone please tell me why we're only rushing three in this sitaution?! Didn't we learn this from last year's debacle in Pittsburgh? Ugh. Second timeout for the Bears.
1:11 Third and short, reverse to Earl Bennett. He's swallowed up in the backfield. Awful play-calling. Fourth and four...
HANIE INTERCEPTED BY SHIELDS! SUPER BOWL!
:37 Hell yes. Tonight will be a celebration in Wisconsin.
So, what do we take from this game?
Until next time, folks. Go party like it's 1996.
Which is what makes today such a huge, huge game. To those outside of the Midwest--these two fan bases loathe each other. Like, loathe. On the level of Red Sox-Yankees only worse because of the little-brother complex most of us up in Wisconsin have towards the city of Chicago. Fuck 'em, it feels good to beat the FIBs.
So this game? Yeah, it's a big deal. It's the biggest game we've played in 15 years, bar none.
A few pregame thoughts...
- The over/under of 42 is a laugh. A Packer/Bear game hasn't gotten to 42 since 2007, and hasn't gotten over it since 2005. Expect defense, expect ugly, expect cold, and take the under.
- The Packers will go as James Starks goes. They've proven that without him, they're almost on equal footing with the Bears--two field-goal games that could've gone either way, split 1-1. Add that dimension, and it could be a different story. If not? Well, the Bears have had two cracks at the one-dimensional Packer attack already, and Lovie Smith is not stupid...
- The Bears have been on one of the luckiest runs of recent memory this season--the Lions no-touchdown Week 1, a win over a gutted Packer team Week 3, 7 of their 11 wins were within one score... This is not a powerhouse 2-seed. Meanwhile, the Packers hobbled through the season, limped into the playoffs, and are playing at full strength for the first time. Then again, do you really want to go against the guy at the table who's on a hot streak?
15:00 Holy shit... Jim Cornelison can sing. Is there any better way to start a Packers-Bears NFC Championship than a heavyset mustachioed man belting out one of the strongest Anthems in TV history? I can't remember the last time I got goosebumps like that. And the crowd sounds ready to go--everyone's drinking away the cold, and things are gonna get loud.
Normally, this would be a bad thing for the visiting team. I love it. Aaron Rodgers is a competitor--he feeds on the adversity of the crowd. They're just gonna inspire him to shut them up. Say what you will about the game--this is a Super Bowl-like atmosphere. Whoever survives will have a leg up next week.
14:56 The field is going to be a problem. Slippery, and lots of shadows. Could be a few drops.
13:53 Aaron Rodgers and Greg Jennings are coming out hard. Two first downs on two plays.
12:38 Aikman: "I think the Bears are gonna need to do something to show Aaron Rodgers that it's not as easy as he made it look the past two weeks." Uh, yeah. Rodgers is carving up Bear steaks on this drive.
11:00 Touchdown, Aaron Rodgers! Shades of Brett Favre's scramble in Super Bowl XXXI. Pretty goal-line roll out off of the play fake. The Bear defense looked helpless on the first drive. Rodgers looks frighteningly good--four for four, averaging 19 yards per attempt. Three 20 yard completions. He's entered the Barry Sanders "Don't Bet Against Me, Ever, For Any Reason" Zone. Like Favre in his prime, except without the forced throws.
10:45 Chad Clifton is hurt, they are calling it a stinger. All of Wisconsin is parying that it's not worse.
8:40 Um, has Dom Capers noticed that the Bears are going to Matt Forte on every play? Just sayin'.
8:00 Third down, Cutler pressured, and he overthrows Devin Hester. Wide open. Charlie Peprah didn't have a prayer at it. I'm grateful for Jay Cutler. Punt out of bounds at the ten--Packers with a chance to start an avalanche.
5:55 TJ Lang is in at left tackle for Clifton, as Brandon Jackson rips a run. I love and hate that about him--he either goes for 10, or hits the line and drops. No in-between.
5:04 Dear Joe Buck: Please do not casually toss out phrases like "Aaron Rodgers looks hurt." It's not funny. Seriously, fuck you.
5:00 Third down, Rodgers dumps it off, and Kuhn drops it. Rodgers is facing increasing pressure from Julius Peppers, who is rocking the shit out of the overmatched Lang. He's not Allen Barbre, but he's only marginally better. We need Clifton in there before the gimp shows up.
4:00 Plays the bears have run in which Forte didn't touch the ball: 1. Warrants mentioning.
3:23 Cullen Jenkins gets to Cutler on third down! Shame he didn't try to force a bad throw there, though. Cutler is what happens when you combine Brett Favre's decision-making skills with Jeff George's attitude. Granted, he blows Kyle Orton out of the water, but still. Just a few years later, I absolutely cannot imagine him coexisting with Brandon Marshall. How the hell did those two not cripple each other?
2:40 Another 20+ yard completion to Greg Jennings. He's a hot knife, and the Bear defense is butter.
:52 Rodgers flushed and sacked on third down. Saw that coming a mile away. No way the Bears let the Packers get too far out front. Another awesome pooch punt by Masthay, downed inside the 5. He's the master of those. I've really come to love his work as of late. At any rate, the Bears are inside the two yard line.
17: Forte barely gets out of the endzone, bringing us to the end of the quarter
Some thoughts:
- Aaron Rodgers is operating on another plane of reality as of late. Something about the playoffs triggers Beast Mode in him.
- The Bears are not actually playing badly on defense--they've kept Starks to an effective minimum, and came up with a big sack at the end. But they're just helpless against Rodgers--he's that good.
- Matt Forte's legs might fall off with twelve minutes to play at this pace.
13:21 Packers driving again. Brandon Jackson just juked Urlacher out of his jockstrap. Heh.
12:17 The Packers are averaging 7.8 yards per offensive play. And that was before Jordy Nelson took it inside the 5.
11:13 How'd you like to get your first NFL touchdown in the NFC Championship?! James Starks, baby!
Hell of an effort on his part. He saw a seam in the defense, bowled into the linebackers, and forced his way to the goal line. 14-0, and the Bears really need some kind of points out of this drive. I'm quite pleased with this start.
10:50 I love Johnny Knox, simply because of his name. So fun to say. Just sounds like he should be a made man. It's like the Reverse JP Losman Effect--the fact that "Johnny Knocks" would make a su-poib mobster nickname actually makes him better. I'm convinced of it.
8:58 Is it just me, or is there something satisfying about watching Jay Cutler get laid out? Every time he slides, I get sad inside. Will never forgive him for the way he handled the Denver situation (like a spoiled trust-fund baby at best). Cutler is a tool. And it's fun to root against guys who qualify as tools.
Packers defense has been very uncharacteristic today. Bend, but don't break. The Bears are averaging 4.6 yards per play, not bad, but the Packer defense is tightening in their own territory.
7:26 Speaking of awesome names... Starks starts off the drive with a 10 yard run, and is brought down by Major Wright. I can't make this stuff up.
6:50 25-yard run by Rodgers. And he could've pushed for more, but he stepped out of bounds a little early. Still, one of my favorite Rodgers wrinkles--he's secretly a superbly effective scrambler. He doesn't break off the 60-yard highlight reel runs that a Mike Vick or Seneca Wallace will, but his footwork in the pocket is on a Breesian level, plus he has good instincts when it comes to taking off and gaining large quantities of turf.
5:20 The crowd noise just forced Rodgers to use a timeout. Can't say the atmosphere rates ANYWHERE below "electric."
4:55 Third and one, Starks stopped short. Is John Kuhn in the crapper or something? Why would you run Starks up the middle there?
4:11 Again, the Bears trying to target Forte. They've lost the element of surprise at this point.
3:53 Cutler gets jacked as he throws, puts it up for grabs, and it's almost picked off by Clay Matthews. Good job by Greg Olson to swat it away, and save the drive. There was a Cutler mistake. Right enough, Forte takes it to the 30 for the first down on a draw.
1:52 Another semi-prolonged Chicago drive, another punt. Comically, the PA system chooses Usher and Lil' Jon's "Yeah!..." as their defense comes onto a fairly short field, trailing by two scores. Hope springs eternal, I guess.
1:38 Another nice Rodgers scramble. He dusted Urlacher to the sideline.
:43 Driver drops a low throw, and Lance Briggs with the interception off the tip. Actually, on the replay, Driver kicked it. Cheap pick. Forte into Packer territory on the first play of the drive. Just like that, the crowd is starting to perk up again. Awesome.
:32 And Sam Shields gets it back! Cutler goes deep, Shields matches Knox stride for stride, and makes a play on it. Great pick by Shields--maybe the best undrafted free agent rookie I can ever remember. That is a monster--we needed to squash them before they could turn momentum into points. We've dominated across the board--but with only two scores to show for it.
As ex-head official Mike Herrera pontificates why he thinks the call will be overturned, it is held up. Rodgers kneels, and it's halftime. Two scores does not do this half justice. Gonna take a shower, and return for the second half.
Third Quarter
12:28 Third down, another 20+ completion from Rodgers. This time to Jordy Nelson. We've even got the same "four-man WR corps, with the Token White Guy" concept that worked back in 1996. Jordy or Don Beebe?
10:06 James Starks reminds me an awful lot of Emmitt Smith. Small back who saw his blockers well, knew how to follow them, and compensated for a lack of flashy jukes, stutter-steps and the like with a low center of gravity that made him almost impossible to bring down. Same mold.
9:40 So for those keeping score at home, our quarterback looks like John Elway or a righty Steve Young, crossed with Brett Favre's swagger and Michael Jordan's mean-streak competitiveness and our running back is cut out of the Emmitt Smith mold. Very good time to be a Packer fan.
8:50 Rodgers with nowhere to go with it, intercepted by Urlacher. Todd Collins is in for Cutler, reportedly it's a knee injury. A Google search for Cutler reveals the following Twitter post: "Jay Cutler is as tough as a feather pillow."
8:44 Cutler looks to show no signs of wanting to return to this game. Todd Collins looks horribly overmatched. And right on cue, Nick Collins (no relation) with a diving interception. On replay, the ball bounced. Hoping Lovie won't challenge this one.
8:20 If my posting slows down, it's technical difficulties. I have an old laptop, and it keeps freezing up. Sorry.
5:53 Rodgers ducks down and gets the legs of a flying defender. I couldn't breathe until he stood up. That would've been brutal.
4:29 Devin Hester slips on the turf, no return on the punt. Another break. It's still a two score game, and I do not trust Hester in the slightest. Todd Collins can't fuck him up.
3:10 Tramon Williams almost walks away with another interception. So many near-picks from Collins. Believe it or not, I actually feel legitimately bad for Bears fans at this point. It's one thing to lose. It's another thing to lose a conference championship game to a hated rival, and have your quarterback completely exposed in the process.
Jay Cutler is a loser. Plain and simple. His solution to a perceived problem in Denver was to whine and bitch, and force his way out. His body language clearly states "I want nothing to do with this game." He's a pussy, who gets frustrated easily and gives up too quickly. It's a cancer to have in a quarterback--and it's also the reason for the Jeff George comparison earlier. Not even George was this bad though.
1:29 Another three and out. I'd feel so much more confident about this game if we had scored more than twice. Fourteen points can be made up in freakish ways.
:57 Just when I can't think of any ways that we can be more stacked, Tim Masthay launches a 61-yard punt over Earl Bennett's head. I didn't know watching a punter could be this fun.
:20 Someone named Caleb Hanie is in for Collins. Lovie Smith is visibly sweaty trying to wrench the fork out of Collins' back on the sideline. He's that done.
Fourth Quarter
14:18 Just as soon as the booth finishes explaining the rules that state that Cutler and Collins are both ineligible to return to the game, Hanie is rocked by AJ Hawk. Don't tempt me, fate.
13:05 Clay Matthews rocks Forte in the backfield. I hope Matthews is aware of the bounty on Hanie's head.
12:27 Hanie to Johnny Knox, down to the one and out of bounds. Fuck.
12:02 Touchdown, Chester Taylor. Soldier Field sounds like it just got electroshocked. Forty-seven minutes of domination, and suddenly Chicago has all the momentum. Hanie even wears Tom Brady's number. This can't happen. Can't.
11:51 Starks stopped at the line, and the crowd actually reacted. Come on, Rodgers. This is where you shine.
11:08 Rodgers is absolutely wrecked by Peppers as he overshoots Jennings. Can't say I'm surprised to see that--just surprised it took this long. Know Peppers has to be headhunting.
11:03 Another flag, this one pass interference downfield on first down. I can't remember the last time I heard this much booing.
10:30 Can someone make me the following image: Cutler moping on the sideline with little bits of blood on his sleeve, and Rodgers spitting blood onto the field after Peppers rung his bell? I feel like this contrast says it all about those two.
9:32 Incomplete, punt team on. Hanie has the crowd behind him. I'm absolutely terrified.
8:29 Three and out, with Sam Shields getting a good shot on Hanie on third down. Glad to see our defense get their swagger back. Hoping that score might have been a fluke.
7:31 Incomplete, Rodgers throws low off the play-action. Hey, the first two games were ugly affairs that came down to the end--why should this one be any different?
6:15 Another third-down situation. INTERCEPTED BY BJ RAJI FOR THE TOUCHDOWN!
BJ Raji is the truck driving us to Dallas. Love the zone blitz. My Facebook toolbar is exploding with Raji-related status updates. Happy fucking day. Happy, happy fucking day. That was getting entirely too tense.
5:27 Charlie Peprah just lit up Earl Bennett. A couple first downs, all of a sudden the Bears are into our territory.
4:43 Bennett with a juke move, and he takes it in for the touchdown. How the fuck did that happen so fast? We went from "Joe Buck joking about Raji's Truffle Shuffle" to "7-point game" in what felt like nothing. I'm hoping that our offense can keep the momentum going from the pick-six.
3:50 Starks stopped cold at the line twice. Big third down coming up.
3:40 Nowhere to go, Rodgers goes down, three and out. Our defense came up big all game until that last drive. One more time, guys.
2:53 Masthay with another huge punt--56 yards--and Hanie on to run the two-minute drill. I have to pee. It'll have to wait.
2:44 High snap, Hanie barely brought it in. Chicago's collective hearts just jumped into their throats there.
2:38 How the fuck did Hanie get away from that rush? Seems like he was surrouned by green jerseys there.
2:33 Flag. Intentional grounding. Huge break. Bears fans are going to be pissed off at the refs for this one, mark my words.
1:54 Forte stopped short of the first down. Interesting trend--Hanie's gone to his checkdown routes almost exclusively this drive. I think he's feeling the pressure, and is a little hesitant to press his luck downfield. Good news for us, since they need a quick score and he's continually going short and over the middle. Shades of Matt Flynn? Great coming-out performance by a plucky backup QB, capped off by crapping the bed in a beat-the-clock situation?
Fourth and one. Here's the season.
1:48 And Chester Taylor gets it. Crap.
1:27 Hanie, screen pass to Forte. Clay Matthews is limping. I feel sick. Ball on the 34.
1:15 Can someone please tell me why we're only rushing three in this sitaution?! Didn't we learn this from last year's debacle in Pittsburgh? Ugh. Second timeout for the Bears.
1:11 Third and short, reverse to Earl Bennett. He's swallowed up in the backfield. Awful play-calling. Fourth and four...
HANIE INTERCEPTED BY SHIELDS! SUPER BOWL!
:37 Hell yes. Tonight will be a celebration in Wisconsin.
So, what do we take from this game?
- This better taint Jay Cutler's career forever. If he even has one after this. It's one thing to go down gallantly. It's another to quit at the first sign of trouble. I hate Jay Cutler's attitude. I just don't understand how you can root for such a bitch.
- Aaron Rodgers' numbers look unfairly bad because of the two picks. One was off of a deflection--other than the dumb throw to Urlacher, he was effective if not his usual dominant self. Most importantly, he came through when the offense needed him early and let us establish a rhythm.
- James Starks was largely unimpressive, but we still won. Maybe it's just a side-effect of the ugly nature of Packers-Bears, but he never really got it going. Don't expect him to fare much better than this against Pittsburgh OR New York.
- Todd Collins is no longer capable of carrying an NFL clipboard.
- The John Kuhn bandwagon has officially turned into the garage. One carry for two yards.
- Greg Jennings (with 8) was one of two Packers with multiple catches. The other? Jordy Nelson.
- Touches by Matt Forte: 27. Touches by remaining Bears: 16.
Until next time, folks. Go party like it's 1996.
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