(Also, I needed to hide. After the way my Wild Card round picks have worked out, the odds of me making it to Monday with both thumbs aren't looking good. Or, at least, if gambling were legal, they would be.)
Third Quarter
15:00 Pam Oliver reports that the Packers spent the whole week working on fundamentals--tackling, holding on to the ball, etc. Sure had me fooled.
13:10 "Meanwhile, for Green Bay, you saw Jarrod Bush covering Doucet-" I'm just gonna stop you right there. The fact that this unknown wideout has shredded us is now completely understandable. Bush could make Cleveland's son on The Cleveland Show look like an All-Pro.
11:15 Touchdown, Cardinals. Two plays in a row Warner has made throws on the run, making them the first two on-the-run throws of his career. I'm amazed Warner was able to move that well without a walker.
(Am I bitter? You bet your ass I'm bitter. It's 31-10, and we couldn't stop them if we could play 15 guys on defense.)
Just had the following exchange with my girlfriend on Facebook chat:
Never a good sign. The worst part? She agreed.Sami
i give up
5:29pmColin
i'm live-blogging the second half
i might break the world record for "percentage of words that wouldn't be admissable on tv"
10:19 Rodgers' throw sails four feet over Driver's head. This has been a theme today. Thankfully, he's only killing my team, and not my fantasy team too.
(Wait, did I say "thankfully?" I meant "I want to insert my head into a guillotine.")
9:35 This game, in one word? Sloppy. Lots of turnovers, lots of penalties, lots of mistakes on both sides. As ugly as it looks, it's been a lot closer than the score indicates. A few breaks, and we could pull this one off.
(Okay, more than a few breaks. But you know what? I've got a copy of the epic Oilers-Bills wild-card comeback on my computer, and one thing stands out about that comeback--the Bills caught a ridiculous amount of breaks. Uncalled holding penalties, missed calls on fumbles before they were reviewable, close calls where they were literally inches from being stopped... only they made it. These kinds of things require skill meeting with luck. We need the luck.)
8:50 Know how I just said that? Rodgers-Cromartie just misses an interception by a hair, and Jennings takes it inside the 5.
8:06 John Kuhn catches a pass in the flat, looks surprised to be holding the ball, and is flattened for a 3-yard loss. Let's keep him out of the passing game, guys.
7:20 "Here's Jennings... WHAT A CATCH FOR THE TOUCHDOWN!" Any time you get a display of emotion out of Joe Buck, you know you did something right. But it's a 2-score game again!
"Hanging around, hanging around. Kid's got alligator blood."--Teddy KGB. Seems pertinent.
Coming back from commercial: aerial shot of a mountain in Arizona, with the comment that it's around 70 degrees. In a related story, I could have gone to college there. I hate myself.
7:20 (after commercial) HOLY SHIT, SNEAK ONSIDE KICK! PACKERS HAVE IT! MY BILLS-OILERS COMPARISON JUST GOT A LOT MORE LEGITIMATE!
6:43 Spencer Havner drops an easy catch on 3rd-and-1. Go for it. Gotta go for it. Come on baby...
(praying...)
(praying...)
6:20 And Ahman Green goes over the top for the first down!
(exhales)
5:54 Holding call takes back the awesome run-after-catch by Finley to the 20. Sucks, but we're still in business. And Finley apparently decided that he was going to be Tony Gonzalez instead today. Just a ridiculous performance so far.
5:17 "and the momentum has completely switched"--Joe Buck. Never thought I'd say this, but I love you, Joe!
4:07 Rodgers rolls out, and finds Jordy Nelson for the score! Jordy with a nice move to shake his man and get in, almost atoning for his boneheaded fumble on a first-half return.
Green Bay, alive in the desert, down by 7. And I have to pee.
4:01 Let the record show that I take back ever criticism of Mike McCarthy I have ever penned. The onside sneak, followed by going for it on 4th down, are the two greatest ballsy calls I can remember a Packer team executing. If we come back to win this one, that play goes down with Desmond Howard's kick return among the two inarguable Greatest Special Teams Plays in Packer History.
3:55 Another 15-yard gain for Early Doucet. Jarrod Bush is officially at medium-well. The time has long since passed to take him off before he gets burned.
3:13 Speaking of burned, a 42-yard run for Beanie Wells. He's my fantasy sleeper for 2010. He has looked great every time I have seen him.
3:01 Arizona gets a cheap too-many-men penalty as we tried to substitute. I instantly regret my "15 men on defense" comment--it looks like our coaching staff took it literally.
2:34 Warner to Fitzgerald for the touchdown. Let's just go for the onside kick every time. It's gotta give us a better chance than actually trying to play defense.
Kurt Warner's quarterback rating in this game, according to Buck: 154.2. Perfect score is 158.3. My point stands.
(Credit goes to Matt Miles for that. I originally had 154.3 as a perfect rating. Thanks for catching that. It's like you're Early Doucet or something.)
(To correct a popular misconception about the Green Bay defense: we are only good when we force turnovers. The defense has been so highly-ranked because we took early leads, allowing them to key off of the pass and take risks. We can't play from behind because our defense is not good when they don't know what's coming. Warrants mentioning.)
:32 First down to Driver. Packers driving. Nobody can stop anybody. Like I said, weird game. Weird, weird game.
:01 End of the quarter. God, our defense needs to pull their heads out of their asses. If they can do that, we've got a shot. If not? We're fucked.
Fourth Quarter
14:30 One punt all afternoon. It's been that kind of game. Third down.
14:16 Off the hands of Driver. You have to go for it here. The way the defense has been playing, you've got no choice in the matter.
Here we go...
(praying...)
(praying...)
Rodgers to Jones, TOUCHDOWN! Great read by Aaron to see McFadden giving him the cushion for the first down, awful job by McFadden to bullfighter Jones past him to the endzone. 38-31. What a game.
14:03 Atari Bigby is out for the rest of the game. As if our secondary wasn't already picked to the bone.
13:45 Right on cue, Breaston over the middle without a white jersey anywhere near him. Just awful.
12:40 Two straight runs stopped quickly. We actually forced a 3rd and 6. Here comes the inevitable 20-yard pass to Doucet...
12:00 Nope! Woodson makes a fantastic play to deflect it. Punt team is on the field. We stopped them! Yay!
11:45 Jermichael Finley again. 38 yards. Chad Clifton is down. That killed my excitement in an awful hurry. Remember how we had the worst offensive line in history the first half of the season? When Clifton and Tauscher were both healthy, that solved that problem. Now? Allen Barbre might factor into a one-score playoff game. There is no amount of beer in the world that can make me happy about this.
(Actually, it's TJ Lang. Not much better.)
11:21 Driver out of bounds at the two! DO YOU BELIEVE?!
11:02 First and goal... Kuhn is in for the score! Down 21, and now we're an extra point away from tying it! And it's good!
According to Buck, this would be the third-biggest postseason comeback in league history. Buffalo was at home. San Fran over New York in '03 would be the second--and they were at home. We did it against a hostile crowd, with a defense made of paper-mache. Aaron Rodgers has the balls of a matador. I can't say enough good things about him. The ceiling has officially been removed on the Rodgers Era.
10:53 Warner overthrows Breaston. He looks shook.
10:25 Third and 4... can we stop them again???
10:05 Hightower just gets the first down. Damn.
8:13 Big play to Hightower, and then a stuff in the backfield. Clay Matthews appears to be the only defender to have shown up today, save for the two plays that Woodson made. He's been everywhere.
7:17 Third and short? Doesn't look like Ben Patrick got the first down.
And he didn't. Third and inches. I'd be far more excited if we had shown any inclination to playing defense today.
7:04 Give to Wells, and he gets it. I'm shocked.
6:20 Shot down the field to Breaston, to the 20. Tramon Williams has scorch marks on his ass, fitting in well with the rest of the secondary.
4:55 Touchdown to Breaston. I feel sick. And it's not from the beer.
Let the record show that this was the worst defensive performance in franchise history. Bar none. Seven scores, one turnover, one punt. Vince Lombardi is rolling over in his grave. I think the defense would rather lose than face the punishment that Capers would have in store for them if they are practicing again.
4:00 Michael Adams called for interference again. After Rodgers, he's our MVP. Like Jarrod Bush, only so much worse.
3:46 Bet you didn't know that Rodgers is the second-leading rusher of all NFL quarterbacks.
3:12 Rodgers on the run across his body... somehow gets it over McFadden to Jennings, who makes an acrobatic catch! That was a GREAT play. Ball at the 25, first down!
3:12 (again) Buck: Can anybody stop anybody?
Aikman: No.
Thanks for showing up, guys. I've been saying that for the duration of this blog.
2:50 I'm starting to get worried. We're not gonna have the last possession. Even if we score, I'm not confident.
2:26 Rodgers off his back foot... tipped and incomplete. Luckily, McFadden and Wilson collided into each other, or that's a pick and game over. Another lucky break.
Third and 5... come on...
(praying...)
(praying...)
2:21 Complete to Finley to the 11 for the first down. Give him the ball every play.
2:00 Two minutes left. Eleven yards to the tie game, a million years (or so it seems) from victory. Even if we score, is there any chance we can get a stop? Warner has been shredding us all game.
(Side note: if you picked the "over" for this game, feel free to celebrate. Not that I encourage gambling or anything.)
1:52 Havner carries his defender into the endzone! The crowd sounds like they just sacrificed a live kitten at midfield!
(Important note: this hasn't happened ALL GAME. No matter what, they Arizona crowd has been loud. Credit due to them for that, but that says something about the importance of this score.)
1:46 I'm terrified. We left them too much time. Seventy-eight yards, all three timeouts, and only needing a field goal to win.
1:44 Well, two timeouts. We put out the 1-5-5, and it confused Whisenhunt into calling a timeout. Seems like a good time to send a shout-out to notmikedunleavey, and the following Tweet:
notmikedunleavy1:19 Snap infraction on their center. That can't be bad.
Is Ken Whisenhunt attempting to outdo me in the blown leads department?
1:14 Over the middle, Breaston to the 50. I feel sick again.
:50 Complete to Fitzgerald. Field goal as the clock runs out? I think so. I can't take this.
:22 Rackers' long for the year: 48 yards. Career long: 55 yards. They're one completion away from field goal range. I have to pee like crazy, but there's no way I'm getting up.
:16 Doucet to the 16. We can't tackle. Game over.
I can't believe it. Just an awful defensive performance. Arizona is out of timeouts.
Field goal unit on.
(praying...)
(praying...)
14: Rackers has missed only once all season. I'd sell my soul to make it twice.
:09 HE MISSED IT LEFT!
Overtime, momentum!
Shades of Gary Anderson!
Oh. My. GOD.
We're going to overtime. Ho. Lee. Shit.
Overtime
15:00 Chuckie Woodson calls the toss correctly. The way this game has gone, that is HUGE.
It wouldn't shock me at all to see an onside kick here. Nope. Rackers looks pissed.
14:53 Rodgers overthrows Jennings. That was the ballgame.
14:45 Holding, offense. Second and long. That missed throw looms HUGE.
14:25 Rodgers to James Jones, third and 5. We NEED this, the way our defense has been playing.
13:50 Rodgers hit... ball loose... Arizona wins.
I can't believe it. Shades of the '07 NFC Championship. This fucking franchise is snakebit. Michael Adams gets his vengeance. You've got to be shitting me.
I'm not even remotely fucking kidding about the snakebit thing. Think, since Super Bowl XXXI:
1997: Blow the Super Bowl in the last two minutes.
1998: Terrell Owens makes The Catch, Part II.
2001: Favre throws six picks (!) against the Rams. This will become a trend for the forseeable future.
2002: Michael Vick plays the game of his life, ends the Lambeau Mystique. This would go down as the last good game played by Vick ever.
2003: Fourth and 26. Need I say more?
2007: After two missed field goals give us second life, Favre throws The Pick, dooming the game.
2009: After the third-largest comeback in NFL postseason history and a missed field goal gives us second life, Rodgers fumbles away the game.
Argue with it. You can't. That's two out-of-character performances (Favre had never been worse, Vick had never been better), two inconcievable fourth-and-long conversions (Owens and Freddie Fucking Mitchell), three painful overtime losses (with the only win being the infamous "We'll take the ball, and we're gonna score" game), and a blown Super Bowl in which we were eleven point favorites.
Argue with it. You can't.
at least you're not a cubs fan.
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