So there's a lot going on in this crazy little world. Here's my take.
Baseball, or "Jesus Fuck, the Brewers' bullpen is a pile of shit"
What needs to be said that hasn't already been said in the headline? Trevor Hoffman is surviving on craftiness and luck at this point, his stuff wouldn't land him a job on most AA teams if he auditioned anonymously. LaTroy Hawkins is one step closer to being an overpaid game-choker for every team in the Midwest. The team ERA is 6.06. I know it's not even a month into the season, but again: 6.06! Yes, it's that bad. There is absoultely zero chance that this team is still alive come September unless something changes drastically. Either the guys we have need to stop fucking up, or we need to replace them with guys who will.
That being said, I have been thoroughly enjoying the Casey McGehee era. His .378 BABIP implies that his numbers will soon return somewhat to scale, but he looks like a legit .300-25-75 guy at this point. Thanks, Cubbies!
On the fantasy front: my one-year team, Phillips her Pujols, is sitting in second place despite a jaw-dropping rash of injuries. Casualties to this point include: Brandon Webb, JP Howell, Huston Street, Lance Berkman, Aaron Hill, and Jimmy Rollins. Again, it is April 20th. Thankfully, waiver-wire stopgap Vernon Wells has put together another monster April for one of my teams. It seems to be an April tradition in the Greendale Alumni League--like the July tradition of me acquiring Mark Teixera for 70 cents on the dollar. My first-year dynasty team, Byrnes When I Peavy, is two games over .500 and looking like a trip to the playoffs might be possible once Berkman and Conor Jackson return, and I am no longer forced to play Ty Wigginton at first base. And the less said about my second-year dynasty team, Snakes on John Maine, the better. After collapsing in the last two weeks of the season to choke away a playoff start, the Snakes sit in 14th out of 18 teams. Derek Jeter's continued dominance, Delmon Young's early breakout, and injury returns from Rickie Weeks, Shaun Marcum, and Ben Sheets have done little to douse the putridity that Prince Fielder, Jason Bay, Ichiro, and pretty much my entire pitching staff have been emitting.
Basketball, or "LeBron and Kobe warm up for their inevitable showdown"
Back in March, when I was home for break, I caught a Bucks game, and got the chance to have a few beers afterwards with Dan Hoelzl, one of the head guys of Squad 6. He's an awesome guy, knows the game EXTREMELY well, and is a passionate-as-all-hell fan. I traded e-mails with him, and planned to do an interview for the playoffs. Then Andrew Bogut's arm snapped, everyone settled into "We'll make the playoffs but do jack shit once we're there" mode, and the state's attention moved on to the Brewers. I can still hit him up for a postseason interview if you guys would like--let me know through the comments. Also, potential questions that you'd like to see one of the organizers of Squad 6 answer.
Who do I like in the playoffs? Let's break it down.
West
1. Lakers over 8. Hijackers in 6
I don't see Durant taking the car keys to the West from Kobe quite yet. But I do see the Hijackers stealing a couple games, getting some legit attention, and getting necessary playoff mileage from this.
2. Dallas over 7. San Antonio in 6
The more talented team will win, but the Spurs will find a way to make them work for it. Don't be surprised to see a pooped-out Dallas get shellacked in the second round by...
3. Phoenix over 6. Portland in 5
Steve Nash in possibly his best season, the re-animated corpse of Amare Stoudemire... if anyone is gonna knock off the Lakers, this is it.
5. Utah over 4. Denver in 5
The fact that Chauncey Billups seems hell-bent on taking the big shots instead of Carmelo absolutely kills this team. In a "Mike Brown coaching the Cavs into the ground the past two years" way. If Billups can realize that, this one might go deeper, and Denver might be able to save it.
East
1. Cleveland over 8. Chicago in 4
Headline on the Bulls' team website: "Chicago goes down 2-0 to Cavs, but might have a plan." Might? That's the best you got?
2. Orlando over 7. Charlotte in 4
"Dwight Howard over Emeka Okafor" now looks REALLY smart in hindsight.
3. Atlanta over 6. Milwaukee in 5
Game 1: the Bucks got 34 points from Brandon Jennings, and still lost by 10. I can see Jennings and Salmons both getting hot to carry one win, or an abnormally bad night from Joe Johnson and Josh Smith, but that's about it. No way this one goes more than 6 deep.
5. Miami over 4. Boston in 7
The Celts are a beaten team. Just watch them--they want the season to be over now. And I'll let you fill in your own punchline about Rasheed Wallace scoring on his own basket here. Better yet, here's the video:
And on that mention of 'Sheed, I hope you all have a happy 4/20.
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