Ten Sports Conspiracies That'll Make Ya Think

Secrets are fun, unless you're the one the secret is being kept from.  People have a natural desire to uncover secrets--just ask Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods' wireless provider.  The world around us is rife with conspiracy theories--some outlandish (Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets!), some thought-provoking (Hunter S. Thompson's "suicide" happened because he was about to out a major pedophilia ring in Washington DC), some proven fact (here's seven of them).  And the world of sports is no different.

With that being said, I present for your consideration the following.

Honorable Mention
Dale Does Daytona

Background: During the 85th lap of the 2001 Daytona 500, racing legend Dale Earnhardt Sr. was killed in a crash on the final lap.  All across the South, people took their dick out of their sister long enough to mourn like they had never mourned before.  Five months later, the Pepsi 400 was the first race held at Daytona Motor Speedway since the fatal crash.  The stage was set for a heartstring-tugging of epic proportions--a prime-time race, Dale Jr. trying to avenge his dad's death, Dale Jr. trying to win at Daytona for the first time, the first NASCAR race televised on NBC after the network just inked a lucrative deal.  It seemed curious to observers that Dale Jr.'s car looked just a little more powerful out there on the track that day--which should've been impossible in a restrictor-plate race.  In seventh place with six laps to go, Little E came out blazing, and finished the storybook script with a win.  Everyone celebrated.

Where's The Evidence?:  The financial motivation was there, as NBC had just signed NASCAR to it's most lucrative TV contract ever.  The fan-base motivation was there as well--racing fans pretty much universally approved of the result.  There's no reason to doubt it.

So, How Likely Was It?: Very.  NASCAR is pretty much constantly under accusation of fixing races, and Tony Stewart even caused a controversy a few years ago by comparing the sport to professional wrestling.  And why not?  The two entities have pretty much got a duopoly on the trailer-park demographic.

Final Rating: 0/5 tinfoil football helmets.  Disqualified on the basis that NASCAR isn't really a sport.

10.
Sha-Miracle on Ice

Background: Come on, do I really need to explain the Miracle on Ice to you?  You know the story of the game.  Let's just watch the final minute together.





Okay, now that we've all got goosebumps--what if the Soviets threw the game?

Yeah.

Tensions between the nations were at a peak in 1980, even by Cold War standards.  Rumor had it that Jimmy Carter was planning a boycott of the Summer Games in Moscow in response to the Soviet Union's invasion of Afghanistan.  So, the theory goes, the Soviets decided to throw the medal-round game, hoping to goad the Americans into attending their Games.

Where's The Evidence?: The Soviet hockey team was a fucking juggernaut.  Less than a year ago they had won the Challenge Cup against a Canadian all-star team convincingly.  Just two weeks earlier, the Americans had been pasted 10-3 in an exhibition matchup.  In the round-robin, things went no differently--the Red Machine rolled over Japan, the Netherlands, Poland, Finland, and Canada by a combined score of 51-11.  This was the Dream Team on steroids--which, knowing the Soviet athletic program at the time, is probably truer than you could imagine.  Furthermore, after the 2-2 first period, Soviet coach Viktor Tikhonov inexplicably pulled Vladislav Tretiak--considered by many to be the best goalie in the world.  His backup, Vladimir Myshkin, conceded two goals in the third period that probably could've been saved.  And, with the game still hanging in the balance in the last few minutes, Tikhonov never once even attempted to pull his goalie.

So, How Likely Is It?: I wouldn't get my hopes up.  The goalie switch has been criticized to all hell in the past thirty-plus years, but in Tikhonov's defense, Tretiak let in an easy goal just before the first break, and had not looked sharp in the first.  It was a dumb decision, but he would hardly be the first coach to sabotage his team by overreacting to something.  His failure to pull the goalie was a lot more damning, but still hardly conclusive.  In 1980, the Olympic hockey competition did not have a tournament-style medal round.  Rather, the two top teams from each round-robin group advanced to a "super group."  The round-robin game against your group's co-qualifier counted again, and you played the other group's two qualifiers.  The Americans came in having tied Sweden in their group, and the Soviets had beaten Finland by two goals.  Had the Americans tied or lost to Finland, the Soviets still had a shot at the gold--and point differential was used as the tiebreaker.

That, and it was 1980, and we're talking about the Cold War.  The Russkies wanted us at their Olympics, but they also prided themselves on hockey--losing to the Americans was just not acceptable.

Final Rating: 1/5 tinfoil football helmets.  I just can't bring myself to believe that the Soviets would have staged a humiliating defeat, handing the driver's seat for the gold medal to the filthy capitalist pigs they hated so much.

9.
Lock Out Below!

Background: If you're a sports fan, you know all about the current NBA and NFL lockouts.  The threat to our winter is very, very real.  College basketball is great, but there's a massive sports hole that still looks as if it will need to be plugged in a few months.  And where, we ask, is that plug coming from?

You answered hockey, didn't you?  Clearly, you've paid no attention to how fervently ESPN works to ignore hockey.  We're talking about financial matters here--the big players at play are ESPN and Nike.  You know that soccer boom that's been predicted for decades in America?  Well, if it's not going to happen organically we'll just force it.

Where's The Evidence? ESPN has become a big player in soccer in recent years.  They broadcast international competitions, major European Champions League matches, and have even started carrying Premier League matches on Saturday mornings.  Contrast this to their post-lockout hockey coverage, which pretty much consists of "Hey, there's this game thingy that some people play on ice!  Now stay tuned for more discussion on LeBron James!"

But ESPN isn't the biggest benefactor to a soccer boom in America.  Soccer is the number one sport in America.  Played by children.  This ceases to be once these children become teenagers.  And since soccer is probably the most co-ed sport, Nike has twice the market to sell to.

So How Likely Is It? Far more likely in the case of the NFL than the NBA.  The NBA lockout was clearly organic, and clearly necessary.  The league is in financial disarray.  Just ask the Maloofs.  But the NFL lockout?  This is the situation where the owners actually still have money, the players demands aren't outrageous, and the owners are still crying poverty.  Could ESPN and Nike be pulling the strings?

I still don't think so.

Final Rating: 1.5/5 tinfoil football helmets.  Gets a bonus half for precedent: Nike essentially paid Inter Milan's transfer fee for Cristiano Ronaldo to keep him from going to Real Madrid (and wearing Adidas gear).

8.
The Greatest Wager Ever Placed

Background: It's 1958.  Football is still mired as baseball's little sister pastime, and the college game still eclipses the NFL in importance by quite a bit.  But the NFL is about to break into the big time--television.  For the first time, their championship game is going to be broadcast across the nation.  The Baltimore Colts and New York Giants will play live across the country for the league's title.

Unlike many future championship games, this one lives up to the hype.  A slow first quarter was marked by turnovers, and the benching of Giants' quarterback Don Heinrich.  In the second, two Baltimore scores gave them a 14-3 halftime lead.  Early in the third quarter, Baltimore threatened to break the game open.  But New York stopped the Colts twice from their own one yard line, forcing a turnover on downs.  The Giants took the ball down the field for a touchdown to cut the deficit to 4, then took the lead early in the 4th quarter.  The game became the first overtime game in professional football history when the legendary Johnny Unitas engineered what some consider the greatest drive in football history--taking his Colts 73 yards into field goal range against one of the toughest defenses in NFL history for Steve Myhra to boot the game-tier as time expired.  The Giants won the toss, and almost blew the game on the kickoff when Don Maynard fumbled it, but recovered.  After a three-and-out, the Giants punted--and Unitas against led his team down the field into field goal range.  However, rather than trying the kick, the offense stayed on the field--culminating in Alan Ameche's famous one-yard plunge for the game-winning score.

The game was watched by an estimated 45 million Americans, and signified the arrival of football on the major sports scene.  Twelve Hall of Famers played in the game, and five others were involved as coaches or owners (the Giants staff included Vince Lombardi as offensive coordinator and Tom Landry as defensive coordinator).

Where's The Evidence? The question that has held for ages--why in the hell did the Colts not try for a field goal in overtime?  They had possession at the 20.  Unitas passed to the 8.  Ameche ran for a yard, then Unitas again threw, getting them to the 1, where Ameche plugged it in.  Curiously enough, the game had a four-point spread.  As the theory goes, Baltimore owner Carrol Rosenbloom had placed a $1 million bet on his team.  A field goal wins them the championship, but loses him some serious money.

So, How Likely Is It?  Really, it's not all that unlikely.  Despite what you might think from his game-tier with time running out, Myhra was not a good kicker.  In fact, "not good" might be the understatement of the century.  He was a putrid 4 for 10 on the season for field goals.  His first attempt of the game, in the first quarter, came out low and was blocked.  Early in the fourth, Baltimore actually used defensive back Bert Reichicar for a longer attempt (something they did fairly often--Reichicar specialized in long field goals for much of his career, and Myhra had a weak leg).  Even Myhra's conversion had been a mishit kick that barely wobbled through the uprights.  Coach Weeb Ewbank had no confidence in his kicker, and rightly so.  Since it was 1958 and the 24-hour second-guessing machine that is today's sports media didn't exist yet, it was easy for Ewbank to trust his Hall of Fame quarterback and offense that had just sliced through the New York defense--twice--as opposed to his kicker who was presumably standing at the end of the bench, knees knocking together.

Final Rating: 1.5/5 tinfoil football helmets.  Though I loove the idea of an owner placing a million-dollar bet on his own team, the fact remains that Steve Myhra would hold the title of "Kicker You Absolutely Don't Want Taking a Pressure Kick Under Any Circumstances" until Kyle Brotzman would yank it away 50 years later.

7.
Rigged Battle of the Sexes

Background: Women's tennis was rapidly growing in the 1970s.  Bobby Riggs was a former #1-ranked player, now 55 years old and desperately hanging on.  Riggs derided the women's game, claiming that even at 55 he could beat any of the best women's players.  Billie Jean King initially declined the challenge, and Riggs played a three-set match against the world's #1 women's player, Margaret Court.  Riggs smoked Court in straight sets, vaulting him back to fame.  He issued another challenge to King, who this time accepted.

The match was nothing like the first.  King played the aging Riggs to perfection, spreading her shots and eschewing her usual aggressive style, content to wear her opponent out.  Riggs switched to a more aggressive style, but was still trounced in straight sets.

Where's The Evidence? How else could Riggs have been so successful against the top-ranked women's player of the time, then so futile against King?  Almost instantly, it was theorized that Riggs had lost on purpose--it was clear to many onlookers that he had not played anywhere near his best game.

So, How Likely Is It?  More likely than not.  Riggs was notable as a shameless gambler.  In 1939, Riggs made history by winning the Wimbledon triple (singles, doubles, mixed doubles).  It was revealed in his autobiography that he had placed bets on himself to win all three titles, and got very rich off of the result.  After retiring from the professional game in 1949, he was well known as a tennis and golf hustler--often handicapping himself to entice opponents into betting.

Riggs was a heavy underdog coming into the Battle, and the hype had ensured that a big payoff could be had.  It would absolutely be in his character to take a dive--after all, the match was no more than an exhibition in the grand scheme of things.

Final Rating: 2/5 tinfoil football helmets.  Yeah, there's probably a lot of truth to it.  But it was an exhibition match, so who really cares?

6.
Sonny's Money

Background: Ali-Liston I (known at the time as Liston-Clay) was one of the most hyped title bouts in boxing history.  Liston came in as a hated champion, known as a thug with not-so-hidden connections to organized crime.  Clay was a brash 22-year-old who refused to shut up.  Clay entered the match as a 7-to-1 betting underdog, but it was clear from the first round that this was a mistake.  Clay's legendary combination of speed and strength blew Liston away and the champion refused to answer the seventh-round bell with a separated shoulder.  Because of the unexpected end, the WBC ordered a rematch.

By this time, Clay had changed his name and converted to Islam.  For licensing reasons, the fight had to be moved to Lewiston, Maine (rather than Boston, where it was supposed to be held).  Early in the first round, Liston went to the canvas.  Confusion reigned, as referee Jersey Joe Walcott attempted to send Ali to a neutral corner, but Ali refused, famously standing over Liston and yelling at him to "Get up and fight, sucker!"  A ten-count was issued, and Ali was declared the winner.

Where's the Evidence? Liston was a feared fighter, and several challengers prefaced Ali-Liston I by stating that they would fight Ali if he won, but not Liston.  Liston came from an abusive father, and was caught for robbery as a teenager.  He spent 8 years in prison, where he learned to box.  Though it hasn't been proven, it has been alleged that he also made Mafia connections while in prison.  These connections are often cited as the main reason for Liston taking a dive--he owed money, and he bet against himself to cover this.

Another theory is that the Nation of Islam threatened to kill Liston if he won.  Liston even supported this theory in a later interview with author Mark Kram--though it's impossible to tell if he was telling the truth or just covering for the fact that he got dropped on his ass within 30 seconds of the start of the match.

And if you're claiming that Liston wouldn't have dived that obviously, well, we're talking about a career boxer who also spent almost a decade in prison, after living in an abusive home.  That's pretty much a three-act play of brain damage right there.

So, How Likely Is It? Liston's career record against fighters not named "Muhammad Ali" or "Cassius Clay" was 50-2.  Ali was the greatest fighter of all time, but he was known as a great all-around fighter, not a brawler.  The witnesses who didn't see the knockout punch don't help matters.  Neither did Ali, who himself couldn't remember if he had hit Liston, a stiff breeze had knocked him over, or if he had just randomly dropped for 20 seconds of his own accord.

Final Rating: 2/5 tinfoil helmets.  Conspiracies that are true, obviously, get some bonus.  Conspiracies that are true in this transparent of a fashion, however, don't.

5.
I Swear I'm Clean, Babe!

Background: If you don't know who Babe Ruth is, please feel free to explain how in the hell natural selection hasn't taken you down yet.  Even if you're not a baseball fan, you know the man who made the game a national obsession.  His home run binges would foreshadow the great Mark McGwire/Sammy Sosa chase only, well, Babe was jucied up on good ol' American hot dogs and mugs of beer, rather than creepy syringes of Androstenedione and female fertility drugs.

What isn't mentioned in a lot of the historical glurge about Ruth is his love of the nightlife.  Well, it's mentioned, but largely glossed over.  The Babe loved to get drunk, and he loved to stick his dick in any vagina that would offer itself up.  Despite being constantly drunk or hung over, Babe still dominated every offensive category year after year.

However, the Yankees broke from spring training in 1925 with their star player conspicuously absent.  Ruth did not join the team until mid-May and, even when he was in the lineup, he was not the same player.  He failed to hit .300 for the first time as a position player, failed to lead the league in home runs for the first time in his career, and drove in only 66 runs.  The Yankees were secretive about what was keeping their star out of the lineup, continuously attributing it to a "stomachache."  The team finished with a losing record for the only time in Ruth's career.

Where's The Evidence?  It's located right here, homeboy.  They may not have had advanced metrics in 1925, but that only allows us to measure what everybody knew at the time--the Babe wasn't the Babe that year.  Take a look at the "Player value--Batting" chart on that page.  For those unfamiliar, Wins Above Replacement refers to how many wins a team could expect that player to contribute above what a perfectly average player would at that position.  Anything above 8 is considered really, really fucking good.  Well, in the two years on either side of 1925 Ruth posted the following numbers: 12.8, 11.1, 11.5, 11.6.  In 1925?  A mere 2.2, barely rendering him "capable starter" status.

So what happened?  The two most likely theories are alcohol poisoning and syphillis.  Both theories fit.

So, How Likely Is It? Extremely.  Ruth was a well-known philanderer (comparisons to Tiger Woods would actually be far more spot-on than you'd think), and he and his first wife separated, allegedly around 1926.  And the Roaring Twenties were known for prohibition, but Ruth was known for his love of the drink.  Poisoning from tainted liquor was common in Prohibition-times--kinda like how today you have really no concrete idea what's in those ecstasy pills.  You might have been downing pure, Kentucky bourbon.  Or, it might have been 10% bourbon, 5% gasoline, 85% water.

(The lesson here, as always?  Fuck the temperance movement.)

Final Rating: 3/5 tinfoil football helmets.  Though if this had happened in a different time period, we're looking at 10/5.  Warrants mentioning.

4.
The NBWWF

Background: Curiously, all of our Top Four come out of the NBA.  More specifically, the modern NBA.  The Tim Donaghy scandal shook casual fans to their core, and caused those who had been paying attention to remark "wait, they only caught one ref for cheating?!"  Only professional wrestling has a more visibly incompetent stable of officials.  Dick Bavetta will never be able to live down his performance in Game Six of the 2002 Western Conference finals (in which Bavetta and Bob Delaney, outed by Donaghy as "company refs" who "acted in the best interest of the League" gave the Lakers 40 free throw attempts, including 27 in the fourth quarter.  Joey Crawford has consistently antagonized Tim Duncan and the Spurs throughout his career--and whenever the league stands to benefit from the Spurs losing on the road in the playoffs, Crawford just happens to be slated to their game.

Where's The Evidence? The above-stated Kings-Lakers game deserves mention, as does the putrid 2006 Finals, in which Dwyane Wade's free-throw shooting essentially carried Miami to the title.  Donaghy essentially confirmed every fan's suspicion in his testimony--singling out the Kings-Lakers game, but claiming that it was commonplace for "top executives of the NBA to manipulate games using referees."

How Likely Is It? Well, we know it WAS happening.  Is it still happening?  Considering the institutionalized nature of corruption according to Donaghy, and considering the fact that the NBA has not overhauled it's officiating crew, I'd say so.

Final Rating: 4/5 tinfoil football helmets.  Donaghy is basically basketball's Jose Canseco at this point--he's entertaining, and I really think he's giving us a good inside look, but I just can't trust someone that shady.

3.
Jordan's Cross To Bear

Background: We've got the best baseball player of all time on the list (Ruth).  We've got Unitas, Landry, and Lombardi.  The Soviet Hockey Team.  Greatness attracts controversy.  And Michael Jordan was no different.  In 1993, on the heels of his third consecutive championship season with the Bulls, controversy surfaced regarding Jordan's compulsive gambling.  An investigation was launched.  With the '94 season approaching, Jordan unexpectedly retired from the game.

Where's The Evidence?  Jordan was still at the top of his game, having won three consecutive NBA titles, and anchored the Dream Team in the middle of it all.  The "investigation" was dropped quietly and never really referenced again.  Conspiracy #2 is also evidence here, though I don't want to get into that now.  Some people claimed that they had won millions off of Jordan in bets.  All of a sudden, an investigation is called, then ended months later inconclusively?  With the best player in the world walking away from the game?  More likely, David Stern wanted Jordan suspended, but neither Jordan nor Stern wanted to deal with the backlash that would come from this.  So Jordan "retired" for a year and a half, then decided he wanted to play again.

So, How Likely Is It?  Let me get it straight: the world's greatest basketball player, a man we know to be pathologically competitive almost to a fault, decides to walk away from the game at the pinnacle?  Okay, I guess I could buy that.  But he waited until the beginning of the next season to announce his retirement?  Well, Brett Favre sure did stranger things than that.  So he announces his retirement, to "spend more time with his family?"  Followed by him spending seven months playing minor league baseball?  And, in an interview, when asked if he would ever come back, slipping "If Stern will let me?"

Final Rating: 4.5/5 tinfoil football helmets.  I sincerely hope that Jordan comes out with the truth on his deathbed someday.

2.
Jordan's Other Cross To Bear

Background: And you thought that losing a season and a half was the only Jordan gambling casualty...

On July 23, 1993, James Jordan, Michael's father, slept in his car at a rest stop on I95 while returning home from a funeral.  While there, he was shot and killed in his sleep.  Two teenagers, Daniel Green and Larry Demery, were convicted of the killing.  Green denies it to this day, and believes he will walk free.  At the time, the case was marred with conflicting accounts--as of last year, it has been reopened for investigation after a new report stated that mistakes may have been made.

Where's The Evidence?  It's spotty at best here.  The broken nature of the investigation is sketchy, as is the timing of the murder in relation to Jordan's first retirement.  But that's the tricky part about this one--you can't prove it, but you really can't disprove it either.  Jordan was known to be extremely close to his father, and was also known to be an extremely competitive, petty person.  Even with his money, it's not out of the question that he bailed on a debt he felt was won unfairly--and bailed on the wrong person.

So, How Likely Is It?  I honestly can't decide on this one.  There seems to be no motive for James' killers.  We know that Michael gambles compulsively, and it's definitely in the realm of possibilities.  But at the same time, the theory came out right after the death, and was eventually largely forgotten.  You make the call.

Final Rating: 4.5/5 tinfoil football helmets.  Half a point knocked off for the utter lack of concrete evidence in any direction.  No matter what you believe, you're basing it off your gut instinct.

1.
The Ewing Lottery

Background: 1985 was the first year that the NBA used the lottery system to determine draft order.  All non-playoff teams had an equal shot at every pick under the first lottery.  Your winners... the New York Knicks, ensuring that much-hyped center Patrick Ewing would spend his career in New York.  Under the old coin flip system, he would've gone to either Indiana or Golden State.

Look at the lottery picks that year: Ewing, Wayman Tisdale, Benoit Benjamin, Xavier McDaniel, Jon Konchak, Joe Kleine, Chris Mullin.  With the exception of Mullin, that is UGLY.  The lottery was basically all-or-nothing, and it was not a well-kept secret that the league wanted Ewing in New York.

Where's The Evidence?  My God, we even have video evidence on this one.


Watch as he throws the envelopes into the tumbler.  Specifically, watch the fourth one--up until that point, he just drops them at the bottom.  The fourth envelope is kinda mashed up against the side of the wall, creating a barely-visible crease.  (Just enough of a crease to be easily grabbable out of the group--it has also been theorized that this envelope was frozen prior to the drawing, too, which would've also aided in the ease of its selection).  Stern pretends not to look as he reaches in, grabs a stack of envelopes, turns them over, and picks the one now at the top.  The frozen, creased envelope!  And the first pick goes to... The New York Knicks!

So, How Likely Is It?  Again, you tell me.  The video evidence is there.  Unfortunately for the Knicks, karma kicked them in the ass--while Ewing was one of the great players of his generation, he never developed into the champion that he was supposed to.

Final Rating: 5/5 tinfoil football helmets.  Fixed outcomes, an all-or-nothing result, video evidence, David Stern--now THAT'S a sports conspiracy!  It was even pulled off sneakily enough to inspire just a little bit of doubt.